Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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