I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
