you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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