So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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