But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
