why didn't you poke me back
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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