it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
