I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Church boner. Awkwardddd
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize