I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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