That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
