he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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