If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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