i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
