Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She told me I should be a condom model.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
