Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
