I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
