8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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