i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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