yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
