Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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