Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
