We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
