Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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