we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
