plz talk dirty to me
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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