I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
