She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
