You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
