seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Can I color on your dick again?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
