I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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