NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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