I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
