2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
