We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
