Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
