Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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