please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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