I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
