Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
