i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
