My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
