I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
