he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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