my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
