Ambien. No doubt about it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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