He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just want nice things and good sex
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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