you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
