Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
