Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I will die if light touches me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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