Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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