i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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