at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My life is pants optional.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
