I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
