Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm bleeding and have questions
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
