My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
