I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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