Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
