Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
