sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
