the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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