JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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