I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
