He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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